We’ve all received unhelpful feedback on our work. Maybe it was too vague to be actionable. Maybe it was so blunt it was cruel. Maybe it was just wrong. Maybe the critiquer didn’t understand what we were trying to do, or they just didn’t like it for purely subjective reasons. Sorting through this feedback can be discouraging, to say the least.

We can’t always control the feedback we get from others, but we can make sure we’re not giving feedback to others that does more harm than good. Why is this important? Because unless you have lots of money to pay professionals, good beta readers are hard to come by. It’s much easier to find critique partners who are willing to swap manuscripts. If you want good critique partners, you need to give helpful feedback yourself. Besides, writing can be lonely work. The best critique partners become your writing family, cheering you on both when you feel like giving up and when you meet success.

So how does one go about giving feedback that doesn’t make the author want to toss their manuscript (or you!) in the fire? Here are some tips.

1. Make sure you’re a good fit for the author and the story. Stick with genres you enjoy. If you hate romance, you’re not likely to give helpful feedback on a romance. So save yourself and the author a massive headache and don’t offer to read it. Also, if you’ve never swapped material with this author before, start with a few pages or a chapter. That will allow you to bow out gracefully if their writing doesn’t appeal to you. After all, if you hate their writing, the experience will probably be painful for you both.
   
2. Find out what kind of feedback the author is looking for. If this is their first draft, they may be looking for large-scale developmental feedback on pacing, plotting, and character arcs. Line editing every sentence and removing all 3,825 instances of the word just might do nothing more than lead to frustration for both of you.
   
3. Include positives. Nothing is more discouraging than reading a laundry list of what you’ve done wrong. Be sure to note what the author does well. Did something make you laugh or cry? Point it out! Knowing what is working is not only encouraging, it can help an author capitalize on their strengths.
   
4. Consider your phrasing. Even authors who say they want you to be blunt don’t want you to rip them to shreds. Comments like “This character was flatter than cardboard run over by a steamroller” and “That’s the most unbelievable thing I’ve ever read. LOL!” are either going to make the author hate their manuscript or hate you. Take a moment to phrase your feedback in a way that doesn’t feel like you’re stabbing a fork in their eyeball. For example: “Consider exploring the villain’s character more deeply.  Adding in some backstory to explain why they’re bent on world domination may make them feel more multi-dimensional and believable.” This kind of comment takes a little longer to write, but the author is more likely to take it (and you) seriously because it doesn’t feel accusatory or belittling. Kindness goes a long way!
   
5. Be specific in your feedback. Give examples so it’s clear what you mean. I once had a beta reader tell me that my story lacked narrative tension. That was the entire comment. Useful? Nope. To this day, I have no idea what exactly they meant or how I could go about fixing the problem (if there even was one). Providing specific examples clarifies what exactly is problematic so the author can can actually do something about it. If they’ve got a problem with info dumping, highlight some specific places where there’s too much backstory interrupting the narrative. If the pacing is off, point out the places where a lack of tension or conflict caused your attention to falter.
   
6. Remember that you don’t need to point out everything that you think needs improvement. Hundreds of comments on a page is overwhelming. If someone’s manuscript needs a lot of work, point out the biggest issues. What would make the most impact on their story? Highlight those, and ignore the nitty gritty. If, on the other hand, the manuscript is strong, then you can focus on the picky little details. It would probably also be helpful to let the author know that you’re being extra vigilant because the story is fantastic. Also, don’t turn non-issues into issues just for the sake of having something to say. If it’s not broken, don’t try to fix it to make yourself feel useful.
   
7. Consider what the author’s intent is for their book. If they’re trying to write an entertaining beach read, don’t push them to change it into a literary masterpiece. This goes the same with worldview. If there’s something in their story that you feel is insensitive or problematic, you should absolutely point it out. But do it in a way that’s sensitive to their viewpoint. Don’t tell them they’re wrong or that they can’t include it in their story. That’s only likely to make them double down on their decision. However, if you gently point out how and why certain readers may find something offensive, they may actually consider what you’re saying. In the end, though, it’s their story. If they choose to leave in content you view as problematic, that’s their decision.

Overall, remember when you’re offering critique on someone else’s work, you’re commenting on something that is likely deeply personal to them. Some authors struggle with accepting feedback, no matter how kindly it’s worded. But if you treat the author with kindness and respect instead of being authoritative and blunt, you’ll be doing your part to establish a good relationship with another writer. After all, none of us can do this alone!